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The River

How is everyone? Today it is 90 degrees out, sunny and perfect. Today was also a day of further realization. I always connected memories of Michael with photos, places, physical things, etc.. I never had connected him with a hot sunny day in San Marcos, TX. I woke up and knew today would be a day where we would go swimming in his favorite river. A river where he grew up as a kid, a river we went tubing down, a river with memories that could fill a small book. The river where I spread his ashes, a wish he requested and one that is now written in my will for my resting place. Even though he’s probably in the Atlantic ocean by now 😀

I remember how he would dive into this falls that I always thought would suck me under. He’d beg me to jump in and I always would. I’d sit on a tiny rock and he’d swim up to me all cold and wet and give me a kiss. Sometimes I’d lay in the sun and he’d jump on me all soaking. On this sun blazing day, I miss you Michael…but I love you even more because I can sit here and share the memories you left me, memories I will forever cherish.

So widows…..share your favorite memory, share that day that is tinged with sadness but filled with recollections of better days. It is one thing to wake up and feel as if it will never get better, but even better when you share it and embed it that deeper in your heart.

Line by line, moment by moment, special times are etched into our memories in the permanent ink of everlasting love in our relationships. -Gloria Gaither
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2 Comments Post a comment
  1. Tara #

    Hey Taryn… another good blog my friend. I would have to say my favorite memory of me and Joe would be at night right before we would go to bed… LOL umm yea that too… but no seriously when we were going to sleep. Sooo when Joe was born he was 3 months premature, his lungs collapsed and he lived in the hospital for a long time learning how to breathe. When he was sent home, before all this technology came out he slept on his dad’s chest everynight for a year so when he would stop breathing his dad could pat his back and he would remember to breathe. Anyway, so for his entire life he always had to be cuddling someone when he slept. When I first started dating him this was a little smothering for me and I wasnt too thrilled at bedtime, but as time went on I became accustomed to cuddling and every single night that we went to bed we had a routine. I would lay behind him and hug him, left arm under his pillow and right arm around his chest and he would hold my hand with his left hand and we would fall asleep like that, every single night. If we woke up and we werent cuddling either he would cuddle me and fix it or vice versa, we always went to be hugging and woke up hugging. Every night right before I would close my eyes we would talk to each other about our future and everything we wanted, and it was like we were whispering like little kids and then I would kiss his back, whisper I love you and fall asleep. So when we were deployed obviously we couldnt sleep with eachother so I got him a bear and he got me a bear (yea gay) but anyway, I’ve been sleeping with my “Joe Bear” everynight for 3 years now. Unless I’m out of town and forget it. Then I have to have a pillow or something to hold on to. Sooo anyway, when we were deployed and either I would visit him or he would visit me, our favorite thing to do was cuddle and just hold eachother, I remember the last time I saw him in person, minus the umm you know, the best thing was cuddling with him in my tiny ass twin haji bed. I can smell him now, and I have this obsession of spraying his cologne over my bed at night, still…. every single night, my room smells just like him. Anyway, thats my favorite memory, simple and pure. I really miss it though… I guess the bear is stuck with me for a while, thank God its not too ragged yet. Anyway, ok bye. 🙂

    07/24/2008
  2. The American Widow Project #

    Hey dude,Damn man, bad ass story. Michael always seemed to get hot easily so some point during the night we would separate 🙂 Then wake up, snuggle, and go back to sleep. It still makes me smile just thinking about it. That’s awesome with Joe bear!! I got Michael a build a bear when he was in Iraq, it wore a Texas t-shirt, Michael is allll about TX 🙂 His bear was named Munchalito, cousin to Munchie, the bear we got on our engagement weekend 🙂 and then there is Snuggles, his beloved childhood stuffed animal. I buy Snuggle laundry stuff still, makes me think of Michael. So what cologne did you spray? That stuff I smelled at Ulta?? I sprayed my pillow the other night with the Axe, it was crazy how fast it seemed to disapear but it seems to make its scent present at random times 🙂 That’s a bad ass memory though man! THank you for sharing it with me, makes me smile 😀

    07/24/2008

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