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Let me load the music.

I have his MP3 player, I listen to it when mowing the lawn or laying in the sun. Let me load all the music onto my computer in the case something happens to it ( a common thing with widows).

  • Plug into the USB Port.
  • Open File Folder.
  • Select and Copy all the music files.

Look! There are a few folders I have the ability to open and copy even more music files!
But wait, what is this? A 17 minute, 28 second recording?


What is this? Did I push record while mowing, it sounds really loud. Let me listen…..

There it was. His voice.

Of course the first thing I think is maybe it is a message, but no, just him accidentally having it on in his pocket. It is muffled and I turn the volume on high to hear his voice.

“I looked at it when I got out”
“I can do it right now”
“Wooooo, it’s hot!”

…and a few other muffled sentences. Knocking, friends conversing in the background.
Is the loud humming in the background the Buffalo, the vehicle he so loved working, the vehicle in which he lost his life?

Almost 18 minutes later it is over. Just my baby at work, accidentally pushing buttons on his Mp3 player.

It was nothing life altering but it was good to hear. A few tears were shed (out of my left eye only) but worth it. I ache that he cannot speak aloud on this earth anymore but I celebrate the little pieces that even have an ounce of his being behind it.

I collect them, they are the glue to my broken self.

I shattered the day Michael passed on but I find myself being held together by his mementos. His voice recordings, his pictures, his imprint in all I do.

I would break a million times over if it meant that his soul, love and spirit would be the glue to put me back together…and that is what it is.

I Love you and am so in love with you Michael……my forever glue 😀

“What if a demon were to creep after you one night, in your loneliest loneliness, and say, ‘This life which you live must be lived by you once again and innumerable times more; and every pain and joy and thought and sigh must come again to you, all in the same sequence. The eternal hourglass will again and again be turned and you with it, dust of the dust!’ Would you throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse that demon? Or would you answer, ‘Never have I heard anything more divine’?”

-Friedrich Nietzsche
One Comment Post a comment
  1. Tara #

    Thats crazy man, but kinda cool at the same time!


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