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It Took

It took 3 years to do it. To put up the Christmas tree.


The Christmas season has always been a favorite of mine. Growing up, I remember walking down the stairs to those twinkling lights and the warm sense of joy.


I loved the season so much that Michael and I got married on December 23rd.


After he died, the season and everything it meant died too.


Presents, joy, festivity….my heart screamed “Screw it all.”


But this year….3 plus years after Michael was killed, I’ve done it. I spent the day picking out new ornaments to add to our collection, a new tree skirt, mulled wine to sip on during decoration, candles to burn that smell of apple cider and spice. I even tuned the station to 95.5…Delilah…100% Christmas tunes…and I sang along…i whistled down the aisles.


I’ve spent the evening decorating our home and feeling that same feeling i did as a child, but with another type of warmth, the warmth of our love that still lives on…stronger than ever.


I’m excited to wake each day and look at the tree..the tree that has no gifts laid beneath it…since the one gift I could ever need is within me….planted by my one true love.


Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time.

~Laura Ingalls Wilder

6 Comments Post a comment
  1. You gotta know I’m smiling. I remember the first year after Michael died. I’m not going to go into detail, I’m just going to send you a ;-), ((((hugs))))) and tell you how very proud I am of you and how very thankful I am for you. Love u!! ❤

  2. katherine selber #

    love this post.. it makes me smile. big hugs,katherine

  3. thank you for sharing and so beautifully written…..peace to you

  4. Your tree looks amazing. Waiting until you were ready was very wise, instead of forcing it. Merry Christmas.

  5. Keyris #

    Love this post, the tree looks beautiful!

  6. Tina #

    This was my first christmas without my husband. It’s only been 4months…I don’t know what to do without him! My daughter and I moved in with my parents and thank God for them! I find inspiration in your story..I hope that one day I can just “be”


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