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Me

“I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity, and her flaming self-respect. And it’s these things I’d believe in, even if the whole world indulged in wild suspicions that she wasn’t all she should be. I love her and it is the beginning of everything.”

– Scott Fitzgerald

I’m introspective.

You can still find me wandering the “Self-Help” aisles at a bookstore to find things to challenge my being and better my soul. Like art, all I took and take from those paperbacks is interpreted differently to me than others…and hell, I’m as flawed as a clearance item at a “Ross” store, so in seeing that each life…or in Ross standards..each item..is individual and unique..had been the springboard to me following the path that I am on.

I know the day I stop learning and growing will be the day I die.

Lately though, I’ve felt challenged for being the person I am. The way I do things and the life I lead.

It brought me down to a place I couldn’t stand. It made me reflect, but in that reflection I just had to hold tight to me and who I am.

It’s hard sometimes not having Michael (the most honest, loving, and caring individual I’ve ever known) here. He called me out when I was wrong, reassured me when I was right, and ever so delicately let me know that I  am perfect as I am.

It was with that love and care, that I strive/strived to be even better at living, laughing, apologizing, and forgiving.

So the quote above is one I will repeat in those moments of feeling totally mis-understood in this big world….The moments where I can’t physically  hear his voice, but where I will pluck the cord in my being that he embedded in me. The cord that sang to me that I am enough……

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3 Comments Post a comment
  1. ‘reflection’ is an amazing thing to ponder. I am very proud of you and the courage you show in your daily walk in this life. There are amazing truths to be known, and you are looking in the right places. Love you!

    04/01/2011
  2. katherine selber #

    I know people… And You are one of the best persons I have ever known.

    Big Hugs,
    Katherine Selber

    04/02/2011
  3. Brooke Toner #

    You are like the gorgeous, brand-new sparkling jewelry at TJ Maxx!! We are all flawed, especially after what we have been through, but I have been blessed through the AWP, to see us widsters all being refined and growing into even more amazing individuals. Love ya dude!

    04/02/2011

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