“I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity, and her flaming self-respect. And it’s these things I’d believe in, even if the whole world indulged in wild suspicions that she wasn’t all she should be. I love her and it is the beginning of everything.”
– Scott Fitzgerald
You can still find me wandering the “Self-Help” aisles at a bookstore to find things to challenge my being and better my soul. Like art, all I took and take from those paperbacks is interpreted differently to me than others…and hell, I’m as flawed as a clearance item at a “Ross” store, so in seeing that each life…or in Ross standards..each item..is individual and unique..had been the springboard to me following the path that I am on.
I know the day I stop learning and growing will be the day I die.
Lately though, I’ve felt challenged for being the person I am. The way I do things and the life I lead.
It brought me down to a place I couldn’t stand. It made me reflect, but in that reflection I just had to hold tight to me and who I am.
It’s hard sometimes not having Michael (the most honest, loving, and caring individual I’ve ever known) here. He called me out when I was wrong, reassured me when I was right, and ever so delicately let me know that I am perfect as I am.
It was with that love and care, that I strive/strived to be even better at living, laughing, apologizing, and forgiving.
So the quote above is one I will repeat in those moments of feeling totally mis-understood in this big world….The moments where I can’t physically hear his voice, but where I will pluck the cord in my being that he embedded in me. The cord that sang to me that I am enough……