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To put it simply…every action, every breath, every second of my life after Michael’s death was one thing and one thing only…hard.

Okay, I should re-phrase….torture, painful, unbearable and hard to imagine surviving even a day.

But an amazing thing happened today…like most things, it’s something I’ve noticed in passing since becoming a widow, but after sitting on my sofa, enjoying a bowl of cereal, it hit me…

I have more easy than hard!

It took a simple action to see how easy it is in general to live my day-to-day life!

Yes, there are still some tragically painful moments, but I’m not always consumed by the hard…the stressful, the hurtful, the moments that leave me begging to join my love.

I like the easy that has creeped its way back to me…the simple…I never lost it, I think my heart just forgot how to handle it…but it’s happening…the easy is taking its rightful place back in my lungs and heart…

It’s easy to eternally love him…but now, it’s easy to do that in the midst of my life here on earth….and secretly…deep down..I know it may not be because the aspect of life has changed (or even that all is truly easy), but my strength has.

4 Comments Post a comment
  1. I remember when we first met. What a journey this has been. Have to say, it brings tears to my heart; tears of gratitude and thanksgiving to see where you are today. Love you T!!!!!!

  2. I have never experienced losing a partner, a soul mate, a love, but my God, do I understand the words in your post.

    Once, after the death of my beloved father, I was crying with my mom and feeling as if I would never be even remotely alright again. And though SINCE then I have not felt such grief, I have had many times where my heart has been broken, or where there is so much more hard than easy. And in those times I think of three simple words my mother has shared with me.

    Life. Gets. In.

    Because that’s what happens. When you stay here long enough, I mean, when you decide not to leave whether in body, mind or spirit, life eventually gets in without you having to do anything more than be here. Life gets in and eventually it takes over; laughter happens, love even happens again.

    Life takes over–it’s as natural as the weather in a moody sky. 🙂

  3. Brooke Toner #

    Love this post…and I also love Katie’s comment. Those are three great words.

  4. Heartfelt!


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