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But To

“He’d want you to keep on living.” “He’d want you to be happy.”

Oh, how those remarks we’re scalpels to my ears when Michael first died. But, they kept coming, mouth after mouth, stranger after family member.

“But to live is to do something he can no longer do?!”

“But to be happy is to make the world believe our love no longer runs through my veins?!”

I remember those being my silent responses heard only in my brain.

4 years later and I see that my thoughts were the complete opposite. Time wiped away the preconceived notions built up in my broken mind and heart.

I’m alive. I’m happy. I’ve learned. I’ve created my rules.

But to live is to do something he would do anything to do once more, and I shall fulfill that for him.

But to be happy is to show the world just how deeply our eternal love continues to run through my veins.

4 Comments Post a comment
  1. ;-), Very nicely said. ❤

  2. phyllis #

    Perfectly said!

  3. I always say. I have to live because I can’t take for granted what was ripped away from him. He had dreams for his future. There was so much he had left to do and he was raped of it all. How could I, someone so lucky to have breath, throw away what he would have given anything for? I can’t do it, man. Some days I want to throw in the towel but it’s not fair to him. On the days I don’t get out of bed, I can feel him shaking me, screaming at me to get over myself. So, I do my best.

    Anyway. Love this post. Love love love. Oh, love you too. ❤

  4. I definitely saw you on TV today for the American Widow Project. You are beautiful inside and out! Also, you are incredibly strong. Get it girl!


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