The beach air seeps into my skin. The clouds melt into my eyes. The breeze wisps past my heart.
I sit here on a deck by the ocean. I sit here and reflect. I sit here and absorb.
I’m here in Port Aransas for an AWP getaway. I’ve fallen ill. Not a cold, but something I fear to test, as I fear of how it could incapacitate me, how it could make me face life’s bumps without him.
So I sit here on the porch, red wine to my right, eternal ocean to my left.
Not being with my fellow widows, at a time that I have put my heart, life and love into leaves me to my own devices.
So I sit here and say out loud, to myself, what is aching to leave my lungs. A realization I’ve long known but never put into words.
The fact. The utter truth…that you never know the sacredness of a smile or laugh until you can’t hear or see the one you most love. Fear that your own will never return. A sacredness that decided to embrace me once more. Introduced me to a long, lost friend.
And the breeze passes by my cheek as I look into the now glittering lights of the hotels in the night’s horizon.
And I smile.
And with his love enveloping me…I laugh.