May will mark the 1 year anniversary of my beloved Charlie’s death.
It still feels like I was just walking through the airport terminal getting the call from the oncologist. Yesterday, that he was fighting for his life and my soul and heart. Yesterday, that I laid with him at the fireplace and felt his last breath pass by my cheek.
Just like Michael, the gaping hole will never be filled where Charlie’s life and love still lay, but the past few months I’ve felt that it may be time to find Maximus a new friend, a new brother. Not only that, I felt that I was ready for the possibility for there to be another fur-monster in our family.
I looked online, found doggies that peaked my interest. I went to meet and greets and even had one dog spend the weekend with Maximus and I.
When he was here, I felt disheartened. He was a good dog, but my heart wasn’t in it, and Max seemed more depressed than ever.
I then headed to Paris, and while there saw all of this squatty, terrier type dogs and when I returned home, found myself on the same place I found Maximus…Craigslist.
There was still a fire in my heart that this was possible.
Then I saw him…this furry, white, westie with a smile.
I emailed, got a response, and 5 hours later was meeting him.
He jumped right into my lap and started kissing me.
I knew Charlie wouldn’t have killed him immediately and I knew that he’d keep Max on his paws. I knew he was right. My heart felt like it was smiling.
So it’s been 3 full days with my white stallion, that I can’t quite figure a name out for (that was always Michael’s job…or mine and then Michael’s to come up with a more sane one), and I’m glad I listened to the call my heart was making.
It’s bittersweet, in knowing that the Charlie, Michael, and Maximus family is growing, but more sweet than anything.
Opening up our hearts to anything…new experiences, new friends, new additions to our family…is always scary. But if we listen to, and allow the new things to not take place of or fill the gap…I think everything comes together…we realize that the heart still bears its scars and holes, but it can always stretch just a little bit more.
“A person’s world is only as big as their heart”
-Tanya A. Moore