I was asked I question recently and figured I’d respond in a blog:
Thank you for publishing this, it makes me feel that others are like me. One thing I want to ask you: why should I be proud of being a widow? I hate it when I am referred to as a widow! I just hate it! I don’t see why I should be proud. I would love it if I could say “I’m so-and-so’s wife”. Give me a reason to be proud of being a widow. Thanks again.
When Michael was first killed I remember sitting there thinking, ‘Does this mean I have to be a widow?!’.
Our society had put such a stigma on the word, that any chance in me feeling the need to embrace it was pretty slim.
I even had people telling me not to call myself that.
“Widow” was a title that had everything going against it in the sense of embracing it.
But I remember, one evening, in the first few months after his death, thinking of the pride I had when standing next to him and hearing him introduce me as his wife.
I felt unstoppable. I felt that the world was mine to conquer. I felt that with him by my side and the title of his wife…that all in the world was right.
It was in thinking of that feeling that I knew I had all reason in the world to feel the same as his widow.
That title represents his sacrifice.
That title represents my sacrifice.
And that title, due to the fact that I am still here to say I am the widow of Michael…represents my survival.
I know it is easier sad than done to embrace a word that for centuries has been shunned and put in a negative light, but when I think of that glowing feeling in my heart when I stood next to him as his wife, I quickly let the notions of others fall to the wayside as the same feeling sweeps over me as I introduce myself as his widow.
You earned this title with every ounce of love you share with them. You earned this title with every day you decided to get up and inhale and exhale after their passing. You earned this title for being an example for all those that will come after you and will be asking the same question on why they should embrace a word…and then they see how you have lived…and suddenly know why.
So be proud.
Being a widow is title worth sharing.